09 May 2012 ~ 0 Comments

Single Men beware! Never Buy A Condo Without A Locker.

Okay I’m going to get this right out in the open and say the reason I titled this blog ‘Single Men Beware’… is because I believe ALL women purchasers of condos aren’t this stupid.

Consider this dating advice 101. You should never purchase a condo without a locker. I repeat. Never.

Let me paint you a picture. You are a single guy who has managed to scrape enough cash together for a down payment on a condo unit in a trendy downtown location. Now this in itself is an impressive feat considering that most likely as a single male almost all of what’s left from your weekly paycheck is most often being spent in the pursuit of ________ (you fill in the blank).

You walk in to a cool designed sales site with a gorgeous young lady greeting you at the door before shuffling you off to a slightly more sexy, confident, sweet smelling builder sales person who in about 30 minutes is going to have you convinced that you are about to make the best buying decision of your life.

You browse over floor plans playfully chatting and dreaming about what your “new” life is going to look like once you own your own little play palace in the sky in 12-24 months — which in reality becomes four years –.

You are wrestling with the lofty purchase price of $300,000 and yet you don’t have the privilege (yes only “special” buyers who purchase units of a certain size unit have the option of buying a parking space) of spending an additional $35,000 for a parking space in this wonderful new development. Which is okay you say because you won’t need a car as you can walk everywhere and use the autoshare program the builder so kindly is installing in the underground garage.

Not much talk is spent on spending an additional $3,500 for a locker space as the sexy, confident, sweet smelling builder sales person senses you are crapping your pants over the $300,000 price tag for your 560 square foot players lounge.

So off you go feeling good about your purchase and walking with a little extra spring in your step because this cute young thing was really nice to you. There just might be something to this ‘owning my own place’ thing after all that the ladies dig!

Fast forward four years and you are finally occupying your new condo. Life is good. You are walking to work, smiling all the time, feeling great about yourself and allowing the positive feelings that home ownership provides to add confidence to your life.

Your new place is coming together nicely. Golf season is around the corner and the golf bag and clubs are sitting in the bedroom corner ready to go at a moments notice. It was a great winter for snowboarding and your board and gear are sprawled out in your living room. Cool. Feels like a ‘grown-ups’ frat house.

You head out to the locale pub to meet up with the cute new girl from accounting you’re crushing on who you’ve excitingly been telling about your new condo in the hippest-trendy-downtown hood you now live in. After sharing a few drinks together your excitement about your new condo leads you to blurt out “you got to see the view from my living room!” The cityscape at night is just magical. You really must see it!

So off you go back to your place, racing up the elevator shaft all the way to the 37th floor thinking to yourself “damn my condo pad is a chick magnet” and briefly wondering what could have happened if you made a move on the sexy, confident, sweet smelling builders sales person…

You open the door and in walks the cute new girl from accounting. The smile from her face slowly fades away as her eyes dart around the small room as she takes in the entire mess that is your living space. It’s June and you’ve got a snowboard and equipment everywhere! That case of empty beer bottles that is 75% full almost had her tripping stepping into the living room. But you don’t notice. You rush her over to the bedroom to show her what an amazing view you have of the city skyline.

She saunters in behind you only to find your golf clubs and smelly golf shoes on the floor in the corner pressed up beside your small bed.  In the other corner is the empty box from your new flat screen TV and a couple boxes of your collection of super hero figurines. Any hope she had of this responsible, fun, could-be-future husband material guy has quickly vanished. Much like the sexy, confident, sweet smelling builders sales person…

You know what happens from here. I think you now get my point. NEVER purchase a condo without a locker. The reasons for not doing so far outweigh the extra small upfront costs needed when buying new. This was only one humorous (but real) example.


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